Edible Pages
by Angel Leviathan
Summary: Sam chose to remain silent. Suddenly, the most important men in her life were slowly going nuts.


Title: Edible Pages

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: Anything, everything.

Season: 5

Disclaimer: SG-1 isn't mine. No surprises there.

Notes: Once again a challenge fic. Same as last time, any ten words, have to use and have to post fic. Only this time, words chosen by Harriet. Thanks to her…! Involves a semi-established SJ relationship, off-base, nobody else knows.

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"Pie?"

Sam stared at the man before her, happily munching on a slice of pie, holding another out toward her, who seemed completely oblivious to the fact that they were in a lab and the lights were off. With a confused expression on her face, she turned and took the few steps to the light switch, "…Sir?" she frowned.

"Pie?" Jack repeated.

She thought she'd better humour him, so she took the slice being offered and set it down on the lab bench, "Sir?" she questioned, again.

"Everybody needs pie," he explained, "Even that woman who lives next door to you with the tiny dog."

The reference was so random it took her a few seconds to register what he was talking about, "The lady who only leaves the house to take her Pekinese for a walk? Who gets all her food delivered? The one with the peonies in the garden?" Sam placed the instrument in her hand on the bench, deciding to start on the pie.

"I swear somebody should phone-in on that woman once in a while," Jack shrugged, "Who knows. She could be planning to take over the world."

"And all this time she's been living next door to me, Sir," she played along, "and I never guessed or suspected," she took another bite of pie. The sudden absurdity of her standing around in her lab eating pie with her CO suddenly hit her, "Sir, why are you here? Not that I want to get rid of you or anything…"

"Hurt and offended, Carter," he pretended to be pained, "Nothing better to do with my life other than mug commissary staff for pie?"

"Paperwork?" she prompted.

"Later," he grinned. Jack glanced down at the bench, "What's the…octagon thingy?"

"It's a polygon, Sir," she corrected, "and I have no idea. It glows in the dark though." She smiled, "For all I know it could be a kid's toy out of a cereal box."

"And they have you here in your poky lab examining kid's toys," he shook his head, still munching on the pie, "Disgraceful."

"My lab is not poky!" Sam protested.

"Small," he tried.

"It is not!" she stressed, "Sir."

"O'Neill," Teal'c's voice at the door startled them, "I have been searching for you for some time."

"…You didn't get Teal'c any pie…" Sam mumbled, half grin on her face.

He shot her a mock glare, "What's goin' on, T?"

"What is a porpoise, O'Neill?" he asked, out of the blue.

Jack just stared, "…A porpoise?"

"Indeed."

He blinked several times, "…It's a…a…erm…" he looked over at Sam, "Come on, Carter help me out."

"On your own, Sir," she dared to smirk.

"Porpoise. Right. It's a-"

"An aquatic mammal," Daniel finished for him, entering the room, having heard the conversation on approach to the door.

Sam wondered why her lab was suddenly the designated meeting place out of all the rooms on the base…

"Thank you, Daniel," Jack said in relief.

"Thank you, DanielJackson," Teal'c nodded.

"Why did you want to know about a porpoise, Teal'c?" Sam questioned, taking another bite of pie.

"A gentleman on one of the many wildlife channels was describing one in great detail, yet the programmers neglected to show an image of the aforementioned animal."

"…It suddenly all makes sense…" Jack quipped.

"Phlegmatic!" Daniel shouted, snapped his fingers.

So much for suspecting the contents of the pie as the answer to the strange behaviour.

"Daniel?" it was Jack's turn to stare.

"Sorry," he started to explain, "Its just been bothering me all day."

"…Phleg…what-ic?"

"Phlegmatic," Daniel nodded, "I realised it's the perfect word for Teal'c."

Sam chose to remain silent. Suddenly, the most important men in her life were slowly going nuts. Not that she hadn't noticed that over the past few years. But, she smiled to herself, she had an ace up her sleeve that would surely affect one of them in a major way. A good way. Or so she hoped.

"Teal'c?" the Colonel was still somewhat confused.

"It's used to describe somebody who remains calm in exciting or dangerous situations. Like Teal'c."

"Are you saying the rest of us don't stay calm?"

"…No, its just that-" Daniel paused, frowning, "…You wanna go get pie?"

Teal'c was the first to respond, "Indeed."

"More pie, Carter?" Jack proposed.

"Sure, Sir," she smiled.

As they filed out of her lab, she grabbed Jack's arm and held him back, hearing the next question from Teal'c as he and Daniel wandered on without them.

"DanielJackson, what is a prairie-dog?"

"I'll catch you guys up," Jack called after them.

She managed to drag him back into the lab, where she stood, suddenly nervous, unsure of how to phrase her next words.

"Sam?" he sounded concerned, "You okay?"

"Yeah…" she didn't sound so sure.

"C'mere," Jack wrapped his arms around her.

All Sam could do was smile as she folded her arms around him, looking out over his shoulder, "Jack…"

"…What is it?" he asked quietly.

"…I'm pregnant."

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Fin

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(Words I **had** to use: Pekinese, phone-in, poky, porpoise, prairie, phlegmatic, peony, pregnant, polygon and pie!)


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